Recent Thoughts

I Have not posted in a bit so here are some recent thoughts:

I have been moved to the adolescent unit recently and I’m glad for it. Its not like I don’t like cute little button nosed kids I love them!  They are full of innocence and if they are young enough I have the hope of getting them out of foster care before they can even remember they were in it. You don’t have to worry about a little baby going out all night and missing your home visit or AWOLING or having suicidal thoughts, or cursing and rolling their eyes or not going to school or fighting in school, joining a gang, and using hard drugs, getting pregnant etc. The list goes on. However, I like the potential challenges.  I mean isn’t that what Social Services is about? Isn’t that what Children’s Corp. is about? And isn’t that what I’m about? I hope I am or at least I try to be.

I have a co-worker who always corrects me when I say “my kids.”  My co-worker thinks it’s too possessive and too attaching I guess.  However, I don’t always feel comfortable or like calling them “cases” even though sometimes I do.  I have this many cases or that many clients. It seems little too impersonal especially when I’m talking to the kids directly or about them.  Plus, I think it actually helps me if I think of them as kids any way.  What’s wrong with it being a little personal sometimes? Is it possible to care too much? What if it was my own kid?  It reminds me of the conversations we had during training.  Everyone has their own comfort zone.  I understand the other perspective though and have seen first hand the dangers of getting too attached.  I have had foster parents become too attached and unable to let go.  However, I trust myself to care enough to let go.

I got my first remand case.  It ruined my day; it’s possibly the worst thing ever.  Two kids who were sent home are now back to square one again.  It’s like the old Mario brothers game when you get hit by a turtle and have to start the whole freaking level all over again.  It’s like ground hogs day with Bill Murray.  What a nightmare.  I have to have a transition meeting again. A parent to parent meeting again. I have to do an initial visit again.  I have talk to the same foster mother again.  The same CPS worker again.  The same birth mother again.  The kids have to have entrance medicals again.  What is worse is that me and the birth mother didn’t leave on particularly good terms.  Of course I was to blame for her children being in care and she had had her day in court and found justice against me and the system.  She had won and her children had been returned.  She told me she would never come back to the agency.  I laughed a little inside as she went at me knowing that nothing made me happier than her children going home.  But here we are again.

Is it weird that I saw the new Children Corp. 2012 application opened it and thought long and hard about filling it out again just to see if Viv and Barry would pass over my application? Or see if I would answer the questions the same way I did previously.  I looked over the application and realized that it really does a good job asking the right questions and putting the person applying in the right mindset to decide whether this is an experience they not only want, but need to have.  I’m happy for Children Corp. and I cannot wait to meet the next 25 motivated and enlightened individuals.

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